G.R.I.T

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Yemode was not the smarted, she has never been. Her siblings never forgot to remind her she was no Einstein, neither did her friends forget to give her that look for her uncountable “stupid” questions.

Recently, I was in her office, she is my ‘senior friend’  and I was complaining on how much I was struggling finding motivation when it always seemed like the outcome would be the same. She smiled and told me the story of how she failed repeatedly, was written off, had doors shut in her face and had people look her square in the eye saying; “yemode, you are never going to make it” you are not that bright. They said it with such compassion that she was almost believing it was true. Today, she seats in a position where those who told her she was never going to make it can only wish they could get to. I was surprised… how did you keep going when no one believed in you I asked? She replied, you don’t need others to believe in you, believe in yourself enough to make others believe in you.

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I sighed, as I went to grab a drink from her fridge,

you see…  The world does not owe you anything, you need to get off your high horse and realise this. And because it does not owe you anything, you have to work hard for what you want, because if it gives you anything at all, it MAY not always be what you want. How bad do you want it? She ask? I really want it mode, I do…

Well, no doubt you want it, but you don’t really “want it” Tee… I got slightly defensive. What do you mean I dont really want it, if I didn’t want to be better would I be here speaking to you? I am making an effort here mode, give me some credit.

you don’t deserve any credit Tee, you are slacking, I hated it when she says this with a smile. You want to be better yes, but you are not actively seeking to be better. In your mind you want to be better but in reality you are not, you are expecting everything to just get better for you. The world does not respond to faith alone, it responds to principles. Faith without work is dead. See…you cannot continue to say you are struggling without doing the do, wake up.

After I failed repeatedly, I called a meeting with my self and told my self some hard truths… if I wanted to be better I had to put in more work than I was currently putting in. Don’t fall into the trap of mediocrity and say maybe that is how Gods wants it, IT IS NOT TRUE

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If you don’t give up, YOU CAN NEVER FAIL PERMANENTLY

Mode, I am not the brightest, I know she said, but you don’t need to be the brightest to be the best! Huh? Yes… you need GRIT, which encompasses courage, comsistensy,resolve, strength of character, showing up and getting the work done even when you don’t feel like! Crossing out settling as an option, That’s what you need. GRIT would open doors that talent will never open.

Just like grit, discipline is greater than motivation, because motivation can fail you, but discipline would keep you going even when you are not motivated to, Its never going to be easy Tee, but you can do this, you can achieve  anything you put your mind to, stop playing yourself small, in you lies innumerable strength to accomplish anything. I have to go now, I have  a meeting in 15 minutes. I will speak to you soon.

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When Lemons don’t become Lemonade…

Hey guys, its been an awful long time! I know I know! Life really does happen and some of the time if we sit around waiting for situations to be perfect before we take the next step, we might never take that step… I have learnt that we have to be courageous enough to step out in faith even when we don’t really know what we are walking towards. My friend once said to me, “Toyin, it is better you endure the struggles and get to the mountain top and realise that the view is not worth the stress, than remain in the valley, wondering for the rest of your life how beautiful the view from the mountain top would be. Before I go on and on talking about an entirely different thing than I planned write about, what do you do when Lemons refuse to become lemonade?

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It is better to get to the mountain top and realise that the view is not worth the stress than remain in the valley, wondering for the rest of your life how beautiful the view from the mountain top would be. Don’t give up…Not now, not ever!

I am so sure that you have heard this proverbial phrase”If life gives you lemons, make lemonade!”. This phrase is normally used to encourage optimism and a positive can-do attitude in the face of difficulty, adversity or misfortune… According to wiki, lemons are sour (off course we know that!) an lemonade is a sweet drink…

But! What happens when you find yourself in difficult situations that you can’t  seem to get out of? Those kind of situations that make you feel like THIS IS THE END, those situation that make you give up even before trying (oh they exist… trust me!). Those especially hard times you have tried so hard to make lemonade out of the never-ending lemons life keeps throwing at you, but the lemons are so dry that no juice is coming out no matter how hard you try!

           WHAT DO WE DO?

Continue reading “When Lemons don’t become Lemonade…”

My Heart Felt Message to You

Just like me, a lot of us are eager about 2017, we cannot wait to start the New year. 2016 has been one tough year, it has brought with it hard, very low and lonely times. Like a friend of mine said, ‘my year ended in October and I am just doing the mannequin challenge till the New year‘ .

Although 2016 came with its own Lion share of challenges, it gets really easy to beat ourselves; oh! I could have done this, or that, or handled this situation better. You might even be in the category of people who feel like 2015 was a better year. Don’t be too hard on yourself, learn the lessons from you mistakes and move on!

Sometimes, we make a mess of our lives with our own hands BUT remember:

 Everything happens for a reason, for a season, for a lesson or for a blessing. God is able to turn your mess to a message don’t throw in the towel, not now, not ever!

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If Life refuses to be a bed of roses for you, create your own bed with a different flower. -Toyincoker

If there is anything I have learnt in 2016, it is Resilience! the drive that makes you cross out quitting as an option! your life might not be what you envisage it to be, but if you don’t quit on yourself and God, you would see everything falling in pleasant places! (and it might not happen as quick as you expect). They say life is not a bed of roses, I agree, but roses are not the only beautiful flowers in the world. If life refuses to be a bed for roses for you,  create your own bed with sunflowers, lilies, tulips, plumeria YOU NAME IT!!! stop throwing a pity party for yourself, its going to take you no where.

As 2017 approaches, we must realize that to succeed there has to be a renewal of the mind. we must begin to see the possibility in impossibility; what you cannot visualize you cannot achieve. Build resilience, you need it to face the coming 365 days. I do not promise it would be easy, but I am quite certain that if we maintain a positive outlook, build our resilience and cross out the option of giving up or settling for mediocrity,  2017 would not just be an orally awesome year, it would be an evidently great year.

Approach the New Year without Fear.

 

 

 

 

My Top 15 Life lessons of 2015

Hey guys, the year is gradually rounding up and it seems like the days go by faster as we approach the new year. 2015 has been a year for me! I had my own share of obstacles, failures, disappointments, especially those ones that make you question yourself, BUT on the brighter side, its been a successful year, I made a couple of great friends and built stronger relationships; it could be better but thank God its not worse. So straight to the point, I learnt many many hard and easy lessons in 2015 and I shall be sharing my top 15 life lessons with you, enjoy xx

1. Another persons sparkle does not dim your shine, two sparkles radiate more intense shine

2. Its okay not to be okay, but its not okay to remain not okay

3. Friends would come and go, appreciate the good times and accept that not everyone can be in your life forever

4. No matter how much you are in need, be it financially, emotionally, academically etc, THOU SHALL NOT BE A NUISANCE TO ANYBODY.

5. Friends are like lights, they brighten up our lives (You heard it here first!)

6. Confidence covers a multitude of flaws

7. It doesn’t matter if you are misunderstood, how you handle misunderstandings is everything

8. This life is a journey, it is not a RACE.

9. If you have to force something, it is most likely not meant to be

10. Life na turn by turn, your time would come

11. Joy would take you further, pay tributes to those ahead and help those behind

12. Sometimes, age is just a number, maturity is a thing of the mind

13. Reach out! Share your story, it might just inspire someone

14. A lot can change in a year, like you shaving off your hair (LOL!)

15. Even if you are a parrot, learn to shut up. Silence is Golden. BUT do not hide your cowardice behind Silence, SPEAK AT THE RIGHT TIME.

There are many more lessons I would love to share, but these are my top 15, I hope you like them and learn a thing or two.
2016 is almost here, and before you write those new year resolutions, take stock. What went wrong in 2015? how could I have done it better? what went right? these are vital questions to answer before you go into the new year. Beauty might fade, but the way in which we influence people live forever.

HAPPY NEW YEAR IN ADVANCE

T.O.R>N

Hey guys, I’m glad you visited the blog again. If its your first time, please take sometime to look around. I personally recommend you read “Dear Diary” and “Ahe’ Belemam”, you would love love love it!

So, today, I’m researching on the recent outbreak of the ebola epidemic in West Africa (School work). Did you know that the outbreak in 2013/2014 is the largest and most complex the world has ever seen since the virus was discovered in 1976? WOWZER!!! Anyways, I shall not bore thee with the details and leave that for my Medical Diagnostic lecturer.

Now back to the point, T.O.R>N, dropped in my imagination in the dark of my room, on one of those nights… and I was like,  where have you been??? considering that I have been under a writer’s block since after summer, Nigerian suya probably blocked my creative side and the fear of not meeting those ridiculous deadlines I get, makes me forget I even have a blog. Back to the point, I promise I shall not digress again.

T.O.R>N is still a mystery to me, it is about two friends who love each other, but one (Abike) has life going so well for her, everything seems to be falling into place, this aroused envy in her friend, whose life, she is secretly trying to mend, but still pretending like all is fine, like all those Lagos big girls who look like they never even have to suffer a headache! (Please I’m just joking o!). Abike is currently going through a sad phase and this “Friend” is her ally! This friend then plots against Abike, but because she LOVEs her, she tells Abike of all her plans to ruin her and even advices her to take preventive measures so she doesn’t fall into her trap!

Abike’s friend writes to her;

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It is comforting to me that you are sad
                                         And It is my very shoulders you lean on                                                                                           in ur most vulnerable state
Every one is suffering
So should you Abike!   

Hear  word!
         I will help you tear down                                                                                          while secretly mending mine!  
Woman hear word

And when  you die from high BP
I shall be alive; full of life
Abike! Hear word 

Don’t dance to the tune I play                                                                                                 For I want you to languish on the bed of loneliness   
Depression Abike
  cannot help you    

I love you Abike                                                                                                                             But I am jealous wounded lioness
But for love, I forewarn you
To take heed 
Lest you fall!


Just incase you are confused, I assure you the author is still confused! but thats the point! Hope you liked it, Please Like and share!

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